Curtis' Bachelorette Recap: Week 9

Alright, let's do this! I wish I knew how many more episodes of this I have to endure. It certainly can't be too many at this point can it? But then again they threw me for a loop with this whole every episode is 2 hours long thing so who the hell knows?

I'm just getting back from straight up drinking every day in San Diego, so today my drink of choice is going to be straight up water because I need my liver to love me again.

All of these shots of Becca looking out at absolutely nothing, spectacularly dressed,  while she does a voice over are too funny to me. 

Oh yeah! Also they're in Thailand this week...I kind of brushed past that part.

So Becca is on a date with Boring Blake right now and they're talking to a monk. 

Ugh! I can't stand it when these two are together. 

Why are these two sitting on a couch outdoors when it's clearly raining? Is this real rain or reality tv show rain?

Becca just said "give me all the wood, where is it?" LOL!  

Oooooo they got a key to the fantasy suites! Is it time to get BUSY???

Do the cameras stick around for the fun part or no?

Lol so Blake and Becca are laying in bed together and the camera man just happens to know when to come in? Do they have a signal that lets the camera person know that it's time to come in? And are the camera people just hating their lives after walking in the room being bombarded by sex smells? These are the questions I need answers to.

I think this may be the first show that I've ever watched where I'm glad when there's a commercial.

Now she's on her Jason date and they're spending their time eating crickets? I guess that's romantic...

Oh shoot, Becca is having a nervous break down out of nowhere. She keeps saying that she feels weird. Girl, you might just be constipated, go take you some Metamucil right quick.

Wow! Becca has taken off on Jason for the second time this episode to have a freak out. That is not a good sign.

Jason bout to get dumped. Probably because he doesn't look like Blake or Garret. 

No fantasy suite sexy times for Jason. Bummer dude. 

Now Becca is crying in the bed with her shoes on, which is just plain tacky.

It's time for Becca and Garret's date now and she's super happy to see him so I already know that she's about to let Garret get the goodies.

They're going bamboo rafting which actually looks kind of fun. It's like paddle boarding on Bamboo rafts.

She just gave Garret the let's get freaky deaky card after he told her he loves her. 

What the hell? Blake got to do it in an actual room but Garret has to do it in what looks like a pimped out tent?

OK so at the end of this does she tell us who was better in bed?

Jason just showed back up? What the hell??? Is he gonna go all stalker vibe like that one guy from back in the day aka a few weeks ago?

Eeeew. My dude came back to give her a gift. That's chump status dude. 

So hold up, what happens now? There's only two guys left and they're acting like they're having a rose ceremony. I have no idea how this works. 

LOL! I wonder if these guys had a talk with each other about how they're eskimo brothers now.

OK so I guess the rose thing is just a formality. She's going to bring the remaining guys to go meet her family. I hope this thing gets really competitive next week. It's funny how these guys are getting stupid insecure and jealous of each other now. 

Eeeew. Next week is a reunion show? Am I supposed to watch this, because I'd rather not. 

To cap it off here's Jimmy Kimmel's opinion on Jason getting eliminated.

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