I Watched The Bachelorette For The First Time And I'm So Confused

 

Ok so apparently there was some dude named Ari who dumped this girl named Becca to go be with some other girl named Lauren. This is totes dramatc!

Why in the hell is there an NFL player on this show? Shouldn't he have better things to do?

There are lots of these video packages that just involve people aimlessly walking. Ok a dude was literally just fishing and then he turned to the camera said "I hope you're as big of a catch as they say you are." I think I might die while watching this. RIP me.

Oh and now there's a model dude who calls himself a "pensive gentleman." He's definitely my lead candidate for America's Next Top Douche Bag.

There's a guy who collects colognes who just said the line "I'm going to blow her nose away?" Ok for real????? People legit watch this show without vomiting every two minutes? 

I can't deal with all of the bad puns on this show!!! 

People keep saying "let's do the damn thing" to her. Is this like her catch phrase or something?  Also, after all of the guys make it to the house do they have to fight to the death to win her love or something? Cus that's something that I could totally get into.

A guy just pulled up on an ox? What even is this show?

Apparently Becca already kinda knows one of the guys? Is he a low key stalker???

Um, a guy just pulled up in a hearse and told Becca "he died but she brought him back to life."

And a dude showed up a in a chicken suit??? 

Ok a dude pulled up with a choir so I'm pulling for him now cus that was a bit of a power move.

So this girl has to keep talking to dudes one on one who keep bringing up her ex all of the time? This seems exhausting and high key predatory. 

Yooooo my dude who used to be a Globetrotter just jumped over Becca's head to do a dunk! That was wiiiild.

She's legit falling for chicken suit dude. I can't! 

Becca just dumped a dude because she already knew him in real life and he basically fought tooth and nail to avoid being dumped. That was weird to watch. Then after the dude got jumped he proceeded to say that he's a romantic F'ing dude. Yikes! 

Apparently sending someone home before the first rose ceremony is somewhat unorthadox and it is throwing people all the way off! 

LMAO this man has a Harry Potter tattoo!

She gave Garret the First Impression rose and the other dudes are looking hella salty. Lolol. 

Ok it's finally time for the rose ceremony. How many people is she about to get rid of tonight?

Yoooooo, chicken suit guy got a rose. This is crazy! I didn't see this coming.  Fashion model douhce is mad that chicken suit got a rose before him.

All of these dudes that lost to the chicken are definitely feeling some type of way and I don't blame them. That sort of thing does not do great things for your self esteem, I don't imagine. 

Ok they just showed the preview for what this season is gonna look like and it looks dramatic as hell! Please god don't let me mess around and get sucked into this nonsense.  

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